Horrible dream!

Rachel warned me about sharing my weird dreams, but I just woke up from such a lulu that I had to write it down. I suppose dreams look worse when you first wake up, and some have more effect of reality than others! At first it looked like Jill or someone else was quite pregnant and about to have a baby. But then it turned out that I was actually having the baby, right here at home. I didn't seem to be too concerned about it and in fact, I had no memory of the birth (wouldn't that be nice?). When I woke up the next morning, I had a vague recollection of them saying I had a girl. I got up and went about my business. At one point I flushed a diaper down the toilet, praying that it woudn't clog it up!

Well, I finally realized I should probably take a look at this baby and feed it. I had to ask my mom where it was. It was in a little cradle at the foot of my bed. Somehow it survived the night without milk or cuddling. So I picked it up, thinking it was a girl, and decided to call her Lisa (not sure why -- that's never been a particular favorite!). But no, Mom came in and informed me that it was a boy. (Why couldn't I figure that out?) I think I named him Nathan because that has always been one of my favorite names.

Then it hit me -- what was the last name going to be? I was married....right? Or was I? Now that I thought about it, I was pretty sure that I'd gotten married at one time to a nerdy guy I know. But there was no evidence of any husband around. Jill said not to worry about it -- she used whatever last name she wanted for her kids! (At that point, it didn't look like she was married either!) Now here I had a baby, I wasn't totally sure I had a husband, hadn't even "been with" any man for that matter, and suddenly, my reputation appeared to me plummeting rapidly. Everybody had seen me pregnant and nobody knew I was married. Surely that explained why hardly anybody at church had bought my CD and why friends were being overly kind to me! My future looked blacker and blacker. The baby started hollering, I started sweating, and praise God, I woke up!

Oh, how blessed to wake up to my quiet room with only my cat curled up next to me! I think I had a little stranglehold on him because he was eyeing me with alarm. I really don't know where dreams come from, unless they're random compilations of previous words, thoughts, and circumstances. One of my fellow teachers recently had a dream that I was pregnant and had no husband, so probably the memory of that triggered this dream somehow. Whew! Back to blessed, normal reality!