School Daze

When I woke up with a headache this morning and then dropped the end of my bathrobe belt in a, um, undesirable recepticle, I wondered if these were signs foretelling the kind of day I'd have. My headache did eventually go away, but when I got to school, boy, were things crazy! The teachers had this sort of run-over look. I was greeted with the news that one girl had a sinus infection and her brother had to go to the foot doctor and another girl was out sick. Okay, I can handle that. THEN during recess a first-grader fell from the play set bars and broke his leg pretty badly. I rushed the kindergartners and first graders off to music before the paramedics came. At the same time, two other first graders were sent home sick. A fifth grader was expelled for the day due to inappropriate behavior during chapel. Whew! Fortunately, music classes went pretty well. I felt pretty sorry for my boss and the other teachers, though. I sure hope nothing else happened!

But I did get some comic relief when I read something the administator was passing around to the teachers. It was copied from a magazine, which in turn had gotten it from an e-mail. It was a list of "actual" notes parents had written in to their child's school. The point of the article was to point out the faulty education of the parents. Whether they were actually written or not, I don't know, but they were pretty funny. Here are a few I especially liked. (Original grammar and punctuation have been kept.)

• Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.
• Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
• Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
• Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
• Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
• Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
• Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.