What I've Learned From Movies
1. Expect any phone call to have enormous significance.
2. There is no need to say hello or goodbye on a phone conversation (because you already know who's calling, right?).
3. It's perfectly natural for a woman to go to bed with full makeup on.
4. Married couples didn't sleep in double beds till sometime in the 60's.
5. It's quite normal to order a beverage or food at a restaurant and leave after taking a few sips or bites. This also goes for meals eaten at home. One bite usually does it.
6. Talking with your mouth very full gives extra dramatic punch.
7. Heroines are expected to be young, skinny, and drop-dead gorgeous, but it's okay for the hero to be middle-aged and just average looking. Rugged is the ideal.
8. If a train flattens you, don't worry -- you just peel yourself up and give yourself a shake and you're fine! (This learned from cartoons.)
9. Black sedans are always driven by the bad guys. If one follows you, scram!
2. There is no need to say hello or goodbye on a phone conversation (because you already know who's calling, right?).
3. It's perfectly natural for a woman to go to bed with full makeup on.
4. Married couples didn't sleep in double beds till sometime in the 60's.
5. It's quite normal to order a beverage or food at a restaurant and leave after taking a few sips or bites. This also goes for meals eaten at home. One bite usually does it.
6. Talking with your mouth very full gives extra dramatic punch.
7. Heroines are expected to be young, skinny, and drop-dead gorgeous, but it's okay for the hero to be middle-aged and just average looking. Rugged is the ideal.
8. If a train flattens you, don't worry -- you just peel yourself up and give yourself a shake and you're fine! (This learned from cartoons.)
9. Black sedans are always driven by the bad guys. If one follows you, scram!
posted by Kristi | 8:46 PM
5 Comments:
I see you have grasped the salient facts quickly. Think of all the times you could have used those facts earlier in your life! Well, I guess later is better than never.
If you ever learn anything else[hahaha], let us know :)
10. Odd noises are NEVER really caused by the cat. (This is especially true if your life resembles a horror film in which case you should stay with groups and never split up when looking for anything).
11. Ordinary-looking people make great friends, but ugly people just don't exist.
12. All sorts of people own guns, but unless you have experience with an elite branch of the military they are as useless as water pistols.
13. Engaged people are not only fair game for romantic endeavors, but any girl engaged to a rich guy can expect someone more dashing in the very near future.
14. Imminent disasters can only be discovered by one eccentric local professor at a time. Government agencies will always remain clueless (unless they caused the thing in the first place).
15. All cars explode in flames when they crash or are hit by gunfire -- regardless of where their fuel tanks are or how hard they were hit.
Ha ha, I had forgotten about #15, Isaac! Any explosion is sure to involved hundreds of gallons of gasoline or other flammable liquid.
Great idea, Kristi!
I recently noticed that movies train me to expect any fact presented to Come Up Again Later. This became clear to me while watching "Persuasion," which didn't follow the rules! Why did that guy ride up to the house, walk in, and glare at that girl while she was dancing with that other guy?
Turns out he was her fiance, which I didn't know because I didn't read the book!
But I digress. Hope other, cleverer people that I can come up with more of these, because they are very entertaining!
Lisa
PS If you're as bored as you sound, hop on over to my spot...I finally posted something! :O)
Lisa
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