Lessons for the Teacher
Thursdays promise to be one of my most grueling days this year, as my studio schedule requires me to leave home at 8:45 and not get home till 7:00. I drive 123 round trip miles and teach 10 students. I have an hour in the middle of the afternoon when I don't teach anyone, but otherwise I'm teaching or driving. But I actually survived the day pretty well. I find it absolutely essential to start off teaching with extra prayer for grace and wisdom, and amazingly, it's there when I need it!
I have one harp student who usually requires an extra measure of patience. But I was so pleased with her progress today that I decided to share her story. M.F. came to me two or three years ago as a shy, awkward 13 or 14 year-old with ADHD. She'd had a few years of lessons from someone else, but due to schedule conflicts they came to me. She needed to learn an orchestral part for her junior high orchestra concert. She plopped the music down on the stand and I waited for her to play the first chord. And waited. "Okay, what do I play?" or words to that effect. Oh boy. I quickly discovered that she could barely read music at all. Even after several years of lessons, she was still a beginner. She seemed kind of depressed, which may have had something to do with her age and the changes of life. She lacked much ambition for harp, but her dad was trying to pep her up and build up her self-confidence.
Because of her learning disability, she can only concentrate on one thing for a very short amount of time. She'll try hard, but her brain just doesn't cooperate (okay, I have that problem too sometimes, but it's a little different!). I've found myself saying the same things week after week, month after month, year after year. We've worked on note reading and rhythm big time. Her practice has often been very sketchy, and I think what she did do wasn't quality practice. Her lessons have been more like practice times. She has required every ounce of patience I possess and more. It often takes a very conscious effort for me to keep my voice calm and quiet, my countenance serene, and my head from aching during her lessons! Good thing I have so much phlegmatic in me, I guess.
To make a long story short, she's still at the beginner level in many ways and still struggles with note reading and theory, BUT she has improved! One thing I've learned about those with learning disabilities is that everything just takes longer. You have to view time differently than normal. Bit by bit her self-confidence and ambition has grown. She knows she's not that great yet, but she's even talked about going to college and majoring in harp! She went to a harp camp this summer and is totally psyched about playing the harp. Today at her lesson she jabbered on and on, and said she'd been practicing two hours every day! I just kept nodding and smiling and murming words of affirmation at the right moments, while feeling a trifle dazed. At a student recital last spring her father said how much he appreciated what I'd done for her, that she's come so far (pscyhologically more than musically, I suppose).
But I don't think a whole lot has to do with me. Her parents have believed in her and often amazed me with their level of dedication and sacrifice on her behalf. I have learned that M.F. has an older brother who's a total jerk and failure, so I think her parents are doing their best to see that she's everything she can be, while she's trying to make her parents proud. Honestly, I've wanted to give up on her many times, yet I never felt free to. Maybe while I've been trying to teach her music, God has been tring to teach me some vital lessons in love and patience. I know that my life has been profoundly influenced by mentors who believed in me and brought out the best in me. Now it's my turn to do that for others, and it's an awesome and humbling task. But I also want to say to M.F.'s credit that she's the one who hasn't given up despite the challenges. She's persevered and kept the spark of optimism burning. What a beautiful thing to see.
Yikes, sorry this is so long! But I hope this might inspire you to not give up on others or yourself. Everybody can benefit from lots of love, grace, and patience. Do you have a limitation? (Like my patience!) Then there's an opportunity to try just a little harder find a little more grace when it's most needed.
I have one harp student who usually requires an extra measure of patience. But I was so pleased with her progress today that I decided to share her story. M.F. came to me two or three years ago as a shy, awkward 13 or 14 year-old with ADHD. She'd had a few years of lessons from someone else, but due to schedule conflicts they came to me. She needed to learn an orchestral part for her junior high orchestra concert. She plopped the music down on the stand and I waited for her to play the first chord. And waited. "Okay, what do I play?" or words to that effect. Oh boy. I quickly discovered that she could barely read music at all. Even after several years of lessons, she was still a beginner. She seemed kind of depressed, which may have had something to do with her age and the changes of life. She lacked much ambition for harp, but her dad was trying to pep her up and build up her self-confidence.
Because of her learning disability, she can only concentrate on one thing for a very short amount of time. She'll try hard, but her brain just doesn't cooperate (okay, I have that problem too sometimes, but it's a little different!). I've found myself saying the same things week after week, month after month, year after year. We've worked on note reading and rhythm big time. Her practice has often been very sketchy, and I think what she did do wasn't quality practice. Her lessons have been more like practice times. She has required every ounce of patience I possess and more. It often takes a very conscious effort for me to keep my voice calm and quiet, my countenance serene, and my head from aching during her lessons! Good thing I have so much phlegmatic in me, I guess.
To make a long story short, she's still at the beginner level in many ways and still struggles with note reading and theory, BUT she has improved! One thing I've learned about those with learning disabilities is that everything just takes longer. You have to view time differently than normal. Bit by bit her self-confidence and ambition has grown. She knows she's not that great yet, but she's even talked about going to college and majoring in harp! She went to a harp camp this summer and is totally psyched about playing the harp. Today at her lesson she jabbered on and on, and said she'd been practicing two hours every day! I just kept nodding and smiling and murming words of affirmation at the right moments, while feeling a trifle dazed. At a student recital last spring her father said how much he appreciated what I'd done for her, that she's come so far (pscyhologically more than musically, I suppose).
But I don't think a whole lot has to do with me. Her parents have believed in her and often amazed me with their level of dedication and sacrifice on her behalf. I have learned that M.F. has an older brother who's a total jerk and failure, so I think her parents are doing their best to see that she's everything she can be, while she's trying to make her parents proud. Honestly, I've wanted to give up on her many times, yet I never felt free to. Maybe while I've been trying to teach her music, God has been tring to teach me some vital lessons in love and patience. I know that my life has been profoundly influenced by mentors who believed in me and brought out the best in me. Now it's my turn to do that for others, and it's an awesome and humbling task. But I also want to say to M.F.'s credit that she's the one who hasn't given up despite the challenges. She's persevered and kept the spark of optimism burning. What a beautiful thing to see.
Yikes, sorry this is so long! But I hope this might inspire you to not give up on others or yourself. Everybody can benefit from lots of love, grace, and patience. Do you have a limitation? (Like my patience!) Then there's an opportunity to try just a little harder find a little more grace when it's most needed.
posted by Kristi | 7:57 PM
5 Comments:
Kristi, that was VERY INSPIRING! I'm very proud of you for hanging in there with this gal. It sounds like you were getting "patience lessons" from HER while you were giving her harp lessons!! I don't envy you one bit, although this hard knocks course in patience seems to reach us all somehow at sometime. But having learned to deal with this kind of challenge will surely stay with you your whole life!
Thankyou! I believe in MYSELF now! After years of struggling, and selfdoubt and recriminations, I feel better! I can do it!-watch more anime that is ;) heheheehehe
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Kristi--excellent and inspiring, thank you.
Good work, Kristi! The few "patience lessons" I've had just help me appreciate what God did for you!
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