Insomnia

Insomnia is extremely rare for me, and can almost always be attributed to caffeine late in the day or extreme excitement. But here I am at the computer at almost midnight in my little pink pajamas because I couldn't sleep! I'm one of those blessed people that goes to sleep within ten minutes of putting my head down. So why couldn't I sleep, you ask? Tea! I'm not a frequent tea drinker, nor am I a caffeineaholic (like Craig is turning into), but for some reason, a good cup of tea appealed to me this afternoon. We were out of Irish Breakfast, so I decided on Chai Green tea, doused in good British fashion with cream and sugar. 'Twas pretty good, but now I'm lamenting the very thought of tea as my brain craves sleep and my body rebels! So what was there to do but get up and blog? Some of my most prolific writing times are at night.

Today my pastor confessed that he was stuffy. Only it wasn't the way it sounds. He said,"Could somebody open some windows; I'm stuffy." Of course he meant that he felt stuffy physically, but his daughter, Rachel, and I instantly looked at each and stifled giggles.

I've made some interesting observations about singlehood recently. Now, when you reach 25 and you're still single, most people will look at you with concern, pitying your poor condition and casting about in their minds for a suitable match ("I have a son..."). I get together with girlfriends, and usually the first or second thing they ask is, "So do you have a man in your life yet?" When the answer is negative, they awkwardly change the subject, or go on to a more interesting conversationalist. I mean, if you don't have a guy, what could possibly be interesting in your life?? Don't you know that marriage is the ONLY source of happiness? Okay, maybe they don't actually think that, but the message is subtly conveyed. And then there are the guys. Single guys sometimes get the idea that at my age I'm "on the hunt," so they freak out and do their best to avoid me. Sheesh.

I wrote a little about this on Jill's blog, but I've reached the point where I can honestly say, "YES, I'm still single, and it's awesome!!" Of course I look forward to the day when Prince Charming will carry me off to his castle, BUT in the meantime, I am going to fully enjoy the blessings of singlehood. I am delightfully free from heart entanglements. Free, that is, to pursue God wholeheartedly; free to pursue more education; free to travel when I want; free to minister with music and hospitality; free to get a good night's sleep (sans caffeine); and free to trust God for every need (including the right man at the right time). I decided I'm not going to wait till I get married to appreciate the blessings of singleness (I get panicky at the thought of missing something!). Fact is, there are things about singleness that aren't fun (like loneliness), but there will be things about marriage that won't be fun either (although I'm told the joys far outweigh the other)! As Jim Elliot said, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt of every situation you believe to be in the will of God." So I've never had one offer in my entire life? Praise God. So half my friends are getting married and looking disgustingly happy? God bless them. So people don't understand what I'm doing? Deal with it. Seize the day!

SWF seeking...

Heh heh, I read my "about me" info and decided it sounded like a personal ad, so I deleted it. Probably everyone who's looking at this blog knows enough about me anyway. If not, you can look at my profile and figure it out.

Were it Not for Grace

Once in awhile I come across a song that jumps to the top of my personal best hits "chart" due to great words or magnetic melody or both. My new chart topper for the moment is "Were It Not for Grace." I've only heard it a few times, but the melody is stuck in my head and I've been either humming it or belting it out at odd moments of the day. If you get a chance, try to get a copy. I know it's on a Life Action CD (which I don't have) and a Sounding Joy CD (which I do have).

Here are a couple verses:

Were it not for grace, I can tell you where I'd be -
Wand'ring down some pointless road to nowhere,
With my salvation up to me.
I know how that would go, the battles I would face;
Forever running, but losing the race,
Were it not for grace.

So here is all my praise, expressed with all my heart;
Offered to the friend who took my place
and ran the course I couldn't even start.
And when He saw in full just how much His love would cost,
He still went the final mile between me and heaven,
So I would not be lost.

Little sinners

Whoever called children innocent? Naive perhaps, but not innocent or sinless. I've come to the conclusion that the rotten human nature we adults try to conceal can be seen in undisguised glory in children. They have simply to yet experience sanctification and/or learn the manners and methods to win friends and influence people.

I witnessed clear evidence of this little sin nature today. My nephew and nieces were over, and while I sat reading a book, they splashed around in the pool and otherwise amused themselves. I occasionally tuned in to their conversation and found myself smiling. It sounded something like this: "Look at me!" "Look what I can do." "Oh, that's so easy! I can do it better." "Can you do this?" "I bet you can't do this!" Each tried to outdo and impress the others with some incredible feat of skill and bravery, while none cared an iota what the others did. They didn't seem to realize that little fact, so they continued in their attempts to totally wow their siblings. Now, this is not meant as a criticism of my nephew and nieces in any way, for this behavior is certainly not unique to them. I think I've witnessed it in about every child I've known.

The sad thing is that some people never outgrow this behavior! My mom and I commented on how revolting it is when a grown person exhibits that same selfish pride and thinks the world revolves around them. How does that saying go: "He who blows his own horn plays a solo"? Something like that. Anyway, I guess the challenge for parents and teachers is to nip that naturally selfish worldview in the bud while yet affirming the child's worth. And may we who are old enough remember that pride impresses nobody but ourselves.

Update

I just updated my profile to add a lot more details.

Places I want to see

Ever seen the book "100 Places to See Before You Die"? I'm not sure if that's the exact title, but it's close enough. Maybe it's 1,000. Well, anyway, I've been planning world tours since I've been about 13. The unfortunate part of being a single woman is that I can't really pack my bags and just jump on a plane to any destination I wish. There are some "minor" issues like money, time, safety, etc. Besides, who wants to travel alone? But who of my friends actually has money enough to travel?? But fortunately, dreams are free, and I've compiled my own little must-see list.

Israel (Already been there, but I'd like to spend a lot more time in beloved Jerusalem.)
Egypt
Greece
Istanbul (Can you tell I'm totally fascinated with ancient history?)
Italy
Spain
Ireland (Kiss me, I'm Irish!)
Scotland
India
Australia (sans the scary critters)
Africa (a safari kind of appeals to me)

A note from a hero...

I suppose that should actually be heroine, as it's a lady. Her name is Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and she's an author and the host of Revive Our Hearts radio program. She's been one of my modern day role models and has impacted my life with books like Lies Women Believe, Seeking Him, Holiness, and Singled Out for Him. So when my CD came out recently, I decided to send her one just as a thank you gift for her ministry. Today I received a lumpy package in the mail with Nancy Leigh DeMoss scribbled on the left corner. With great anticipation I opened it to find two books, Holiness and Singled Out for Him. I already have both of these, so I felt a twinge of disappointment until I opened the books and saw that she had written a personal note in both of them! And she'd also included a thank you note which had some very lovely, encouraging words in it. Needless to say, I shall be keeping these books instead of the ones I had! Anybody want them? I highly recommend her material, especially to women. But anyway, what a special touch to my day!

Horrible dream!

Rachel warned me about sharing my weird dreams, but I just woke up from such a lulu that I had to write it down. I suppose dreams look worse when you first wake up, and some have more effect of reality than others! At first it looked like Jill or someone else was quite pregnant and about to have a baby. But then it turned out that I was actually having the baby, right here at home. I didn't seem to be too concerned about it and in fact, I had no memory of the birth (wouldn't that be nice?). When I woke up the next morning, I had a vague recollection of them saying I had a girl. I got up and went about my business. At one point I flushed a diaper down the toilet, praying that it woudn't clog it up!

Well, I finally realized I should probably take a look at this baby and feed it. I had to ask my mom where it was. It was in a little cradle at the foot of my bed. Somehow it survived the night without milk or cuddling. So I picked it up, thinking it was a girl, and decided to call her Lisa (not sure why -- that's never been a particular favorite!). But no, Mom came in and informed me that it was a boy. (Why couldn't I figure that out?) I think I named him Nathan because that has always been one of my favorite names.

Then it hit me -- what was the last name going to be? I was married....right? Or was I? Now that I thought about it, I was pretty sure that I'd gotten married at one time to a nerdy guy I know. But there was no evidence of any husband around. Jill said not to worry about it -- she used whatever last name she wanted for her kids! (At that point, it didn't look like she was married either!) Now here I had a baby, I wasn't totally sure I had a husband, hadn't even "been with" any man for that matter, and suddenly, my reputation appeared to me plummeting rapidly. Everybody had seen me pregnant and nobody knew I was married. Surely that explained why hardly anybody at church had bought my CD and why friends were being overly kind to me! My future looked blacker and blacker. The baby started hollering, I started sweating, and praise God, I woke up!

Oh, how blessed to wake up to my quiet room with only my cat curled up next to me! I think I had a little stranglehold on him because he was eyeing me with alarm. I really don't know where dreams come from, unless they're random compilations of previous words, thoughts, and circumstances. One of my fellow teachers recently had a dream that I was pregnant and had no husband, so probably the memory of that triggered this dream somehow. Whew! Back to blessed, normal reality!

Zodiac Shmodiak

In case you looked at my profile and saw the Leo and Sheep names, let me hasten to say that I had nothing to do with that! Blogspot did that automatically when I put in my birthdate. I'm sure some find it an interesting study, but I like to stear clear of all that blarney.

Peer Pressure

Yes, indeed, I finally succumbed to the pressure; I've created a blog. Well, it was only Penny and Jill, but I knew I had to keep up with the Joneses! :-) The fact that I'm actually doing this at the moment means I have basically nothing else to do except take a nap, which is strangely difficult after running around like crazy for the past week. My school's graduation was on Thursday and my student recital was on Saturday. Now I can actually think more about summer and doing more fun and relaxing stuff. So my first big step to starting the summer right was creating this blog! Hopefully I'll get the hang of it soon. Guess it means I'll have to think of interesting things to write about. Hmm...maybe I'll get some inspiration from Cheeky (my cat). Maybe I can figure out how to post some pictures on here, too.